If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
