he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
