thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
