Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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