Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
