i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
