Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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