How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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