Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
