I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
