Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
well you can't waste a boner
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
