Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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