This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
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so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
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If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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