Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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