I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
