The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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