Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That's intense
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
