hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i will never coherently bang her
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
