I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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