Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
