Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
