i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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