like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
