there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
my liver is dry heaving
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
