I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
