I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you would pick up someone in the library
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize