i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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