By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
