you didnt know i had herpes?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
