just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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