I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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