So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize