can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
