So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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