i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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