I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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