I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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