Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
