I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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