Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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