I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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