You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
