My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
