people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
