party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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