You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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