I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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