ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
