At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
