I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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