Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
