I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
