We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
