Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
