You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
