my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize