oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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