So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
