I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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