How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
